Valentine’s Day as a Lesbian Married Couple

^{Valentine’s Day has never been something we’ve made a huge fuss over. It’s always seemed a bit ‘forced’, and we’ve always much preferred to send each other cards to cheer each other up when something’s gone wrong or celebrate something lovely, and to get flowers or little gifts for each other ‘just because’.}

^{We celebrated our first Valentine’s Day together in 2005 as having a partner to spoil was a novelty for us both.  At the time we had been together about four and a half months.  I lived with my parents in the Midlands, and Lauren was at university in Leeds, so an opportunity to spend time alone together was always gladly taken!  We went to York, saw a play at a little theatre, went for a meal, and stayed in hotel. Our second Valentine’s Day was spent in Leeds, at our favourite vegetarian cafe - it was lovely, being somewhere we enjoyed many a date, but as teenagers, we still felt slightly awkward amongst a roomful of heterosexual couples all on a romantic date! We have always felt Valentine’s Day to be a predominantly heterosexual event - as with our date in Leeds, we have found public celebrations on Valentine’s Day can invite curious looks from people. Due to us both being femme, people can sometimes assume that we are sad date-less friends who are spending Valentine’s Day together! Even when onlookers realise we are a couple, it can still be awkward being the only gays in the village. Or restaurant.}

^{Since our early attempts at Valentine’s Day, although we have always given each other Valentine’s cards, and sometimes little gifts, we’ve never really celebrated the day with much enthusiasm. We also struggle to find Valentine’s cards to our taste - there’s so much tacky, red and black, and again, heterosexual orientated cards!}

^{These days, as with everything in life once you are around your thirties, we care a lot less about what people think! We are strong believers that acceptance of gay couples comes from positive examples of normality - being on a date in a restaurant in Valentine’s Day for example.}

^{Now we are older, have our own home, and a little more spare cash (now we no longer have a wedding to save for!), we are enjoying making the most of every holiday presented to us. We even now celebrate Thanksgiving - despite not being American, a holiday to be mindful of things you are thankful for sounds worthy of partaking in - not to mention the food!}

^{After nine and a half years together, and having gone through so much as a couple, good and bad, we can’t help feeling our relationship is something to be celebrated.}

^{So this year, we plan to get into the Valentines spirit - it’s our first as a married couple, and our tenth one together (wow, that makes me feel old)! Although we can’t plan too far in advance as I don’t know if I’m working or not (hoping my boss will be feeling generous), we will be getting cards, gifts, and definitely spending some quality time together, even if it’s after work. We love flowers, candles, going for dinner and champagne any day of the year, so a day that encourages all things love is a welcome celebration.}

^{Sure you could say Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday, but so is pretty much every holiday these days - and a little extra romance is never a bad thing!}