3 Tips to Dodge a Romantic Downfall
As human beings, we long to connect with the people around us, especially in a romantic relationship. The desire to be heard, seen, understood and appreciated is part of our biology and nature. And, as women, most of us would give our all to be in an intimate relationship.
Unfortunately – due to Hollywood, Bollywood and media in general - a romantic relationship is equated to the all-common fairy tale where Princess Charming sweeps you off your feet, your worries and tribulations end, and a beautiful beginning commences. The thoughts of living happily ever after always crowd our minds. As you and I know too well, when the raging hormones and romantic fire starts to burnout, we usually find ourselves crashing head first on a brick wall. Just like in the movies, we are left wondering what happened.
Well, the above scenario does not necessary have to take place if you know how to take charge of your romantic journey. The following tips will come handy in rekindling your romantic fire as well as keeping it alive:
1. Stand there, naked
An intimate relationship is allowing her to know you, and vice versa. She will know every curve, bend or scar in your life. You have to let her in and access your most vulnerable spots. This applies to physical, social, psychological as well as emotional. Initially, bringing down the protective walls will be hard. But once you do it, you will forever remain as open as a letter. Your pain as well as your beauty will be exposed. The more she knows about your most hidden “stuff”, the more likely she will get to understand as well as appreciate you as a person. This also allows her to trust you and express herself. In other words, create a healthy avenue and safe environment to nurture the relationship. This is achieved by making certain that love, forgiveness, openness, and patience thrives in the intimate space.
2. Embrace Change
Statistics show that out of every three road accidents, one of them happens within a mile of the person’s home. Research shows that the main reason behind this occurrence is the increased sense of security. We always feel more secure in our neighborhood hence take things lightly, or for granted.
Same case applies to a relationship. After having been with someone for what seems like forever, we always assume that we know everything we need to know about her. We know every speck, spot, and even her most hidden emotion. This assumption tends to make us less concerned or pay less attention to what she may deem unnecessary. For instance, in the "hey" days, you would probably call her quite frequently, send her a surprise gift, or probably take her on a trip to an unknown destination.
After many years, these surprises seem irrelevant or outdated. As long as she is with you, she is safe. Newsflash: we all change. You will be a different person from what you were a few days, week, months or even years ago. What turned you on no longer works. The thing that triggered the fancy in your partner may no longer do the magic. Although it may appear mundane, it actually affects many relationships. Therefore, it is important to acknowledge that you as well as her are constantly changing. It is important to pay attention to the little things… even that new wrinkle on her forehead.
3. Listen with your heart
Many people get carried away with infatuation. This will cloud their reasoning. For instance, during an argument, we are always waiting anxiously for our turn to argue rather than paying attention to what our girlfriend is saying. Due to the desire to justify our actions or appear to be right, we will in most occasions stand our ground. This will happen even when the truth is right there in front of our eyes. The main objective is winning rather that settling the matter amicably.
Sadly, infatuation and intimacy are like water and oil, which never mix. A relationship is not a contest or game and it can never be resolved through infatuation. Partners in a relationship need to realize that there are no winners or losers, but adults who are open to any possibility. It is never about protecting your ego. Instead, it is about safeguarding the relationship. Admitting you are wrong should not be viewed as a weakness. Furthermore, pestering or judging your girl who is at fault is not the way to go.
For your relationship to withstand the storms and blossom, you have to be the “bigger person.” This may entail admitting you are wrong, being quick to forgive, and also understanding that to err is human. It should not be about being in control or the authority figure. You have to accept being vulnerable as well as taking guts in order to be truly in love. Like Rome, a healthy relationship is never made in a day; it takes effort.
True intimacy is naked. Allowing every part of you to be seen is necessary. Nurturing the connection is a continuous process that is plagued with ups and downs. The shortfalls should not be viewed as obstacles but rather as stepping-stones. Love, forgiveness, and respect are the way to a true relationship… these parts are hardly featured in the romantic sitcom or fairytale.