Lipstick Lesbian Catch

FEMME F**K YOU: Lesbian Movies Suck (and we all know it!)

^{There is one thing that has bothered me since the dawn of lesbian movies. That’s right, it’s lesbian movies.}

^{Don’t get me wrong, there are times when lesbian movies can be great. For instance, when you’re a young queer girl trying to “find yourself” and all of that other high school bullshit, lesbian movies can help in that you finally realise there are other people like you. You finally realise that romance is not always heterosexual, and that Romeo & Juliet could easily have been Rhonda & Juliet. You finally realise that those kids who picked on you in sophomore year did not truly know the real world, and that attractive, non-stereotypical lesbians really do exist.}

^{And that is probably where the positives end, to be honest.}

^{When you compare a film like Loving Annabelle to a similarly story-lined heterosexual film like The Graduate, there is no way to stop yourself feeling let down. Not only was the budget clearly higher for the heterosexual romantic film, but the end of Loving Annabelle almost felt like the producers ran out of funding so suddenly cut the ‘happily ever after’ part of the story at the end. And what is the most striking difference? The Graduate was made in 1967, whereas Loving Annabelle is a 2006 flick. 1967? Nineteen-Sixty-Freakin’-Seven! That’s right, a lesbian movie made almost 40 years later than The Graduate still does not get as big a budget, even today.}

^{I know, I know, demographically there is a smaller audience for lesbian films than heterosexual films, but it’s coming to the point where lesbians expect their films to be terrible so don’t even bother to want for something more.}

^{There are exceptions to the rule, of course. One anomaly that I hold close to my heart is Jamie Babbit’s But I’m a Cheerleader (1999), which stars Natasha Lyonne, now of Orange is the New Black fame. The comedy in that movie far outweighs the negatives of its miniscule $1.2million budget. (This budget may not seem miniscule, but bear in mind that in the same year, American Pie – also starring Lyonne – was released under an $11million budget. Guess which film starred the most heterosexual characters…)}

^{Anyway, the point is, as a community we should be demanding higher quality gay and lesbian films. I’ve not seen too many homosexual male films, but having a gay cousin does mean I’ve seen one or two, and some of them are even worse!* That is not to say that we should blame the filmmakers; previously mentioned Jamie Babbit for example is extremely talented, she’s just not given enough support financially and within the world of film to create something that really stands out.}

^{We all know that we are not represented enough on television and in film as it is, so why are we putting up with this crap?!}

^{In summary, I say this:}

^{I AM A FEMME LESBIAN, AND F**K YOUR LOW BUDGETS!}

^{*Side note: I am yet to see Blue is the Warmest Colour, but I’ve heard great things. Hopefully this will be another exception to the rule.}