How do you know what you really want?
I think there is a wish list for us all and this is what you want - your ideal! When you start picking age, personality etc. you have to be realistic e.g. she must drive a Ferrari is not realistic. This is not a James Bond movie. In any case she may be great in bed, but may be terrible with commitment. Do you really want to be with someone who is God’s gift? Could you handle the competition?
I recommend that readers write down their wish list and read the cold truth to themselves. It is there for you to revise and to say ‘Ok I’m never going to find this person’ or to see whether or not you have compromised too much.
How do you set up an attractive profile?
People make huge mistakes with their photos. The first mistake is that they are choosing photographs including other people. You need to choose a photo when you are on your holidays and you are tanned and lost a bit of weight and looking good and feeling happy, which is reflected on your face.
The other mistakes people make is when they write their profile description. Don’t use clichés like describing yourself as bubbly - you’re not wine! Bubbly, to me, means easy. Even worse is looking like you’re easy! Try to be a little bit different. Don’t say your favourite food is fish and chips. If your favourite film is ‘Cool Runnings’, mention another film as this is not the type of film that would represent you well. Also don’t go for the obvious ‘L Word’ or mention Heather Peace. Don’t be afraid to be different and stand out!
The great thing about internet dating is that you can be paid doing it during work time because your boss has blocked Facebook but not Pink Lobster Dating. The bad thing is that it is like flicking through a magazine of hairstyles at the hairdressers. So it can become a tiresome process of going through photos and ignoring personalities. So stand out by choosing the best photo and the best name. This is one of the reasons why Pink Lobster Dating is great as you remember the name! You need to choose a memorable name and associate it with something positive. It is a self-marketing process. It is good if someone helps you, like a GBF and chose a clever and witty friend, like me J. You want your profile to represent YOU so pick a real photo of yourself. Good friends are unpleasant and will be honest with you, but this is what you need so don’t be afraid. To be pleasant is the easiest thing in the world. To criticise constructively is difficult, but if you love someone you may need to be unpleasant and vice versa. So pick a friend like this to help you with your profile.
So how do you Treat Them Mean and Keep Them Keen?
Don’t reply to every message as you have to let them wait. I have a number of tricks in my book. One thing you need to do is to think practically. This starts with planning outfits and not wasting time. You will have a nice dress or tight trousers that make you feel like you’re a million pounds. You need to have your date outfits ready. So what I advise is to have a series of outfits planned. So you will need a specific first, second date outfit and so on. This helps if you are juggling more than one woman.
Another technique of mine is ‘The Scottish Shower’. Having lived in Scotland for quite a while, I can say from experience that the plumbing system is terrible – the water veers between hot and cold constantly. So girls can learn a lot from this. They need to blow hot and cold so their date won’t know what’s coming next. You don’t want to be taken for granted. Don’t be a piglet with a big apple served on a plate.
Blowing Hot: You can compliment her such as ‘What a great outfit’; ‘Nice lipstick, I love the colour’ or laugh at her bad jokes, laughter will get you everywhere!
Blowing cold: During a dinner date ask her: ‘What food do you think I should order?’ Then when the waiter or waitress asks you what you want, you should choose the opposite! Don’t return the text thanking you for a lovely evening until a couple of days later. When you do reply, don’t apologise and just say ‘hi’.
It’s all about balance.
How do you deal with impatience and the need to reply?
It’s about waiting for the right moment; it’s about not replying to a text immediately as this is a huge mistake. I have a list of ready-made excuses for people to use, which I describe as ‘The Rules of the Telephone.’ Don’t make an explanation as to why you can’t make a date… You are moving house, you’re going to see a play….or whatever.’ Never reply to texts quickly. It’s much better to make them wait for it. It’s like a game of Poker. If you play your cards in the first five minutes then the game was no fun at all. But if you spend the whole night playing the game and chasing the goal, then when you do win you will get a real sense of pleasure. Never answer in less than an hour or two and a day is even better. Then you give the impression that you are very busy and fighting off lots of other women even if you are just really watching Eastenders in your pyjamas. If they call you – you don’t need to answer the phone each time either.
How do you select the one woman that you want to be your girlfriend?
In the early stages when you are ‘auditioning’ woman there is normally a turning point when the sex comes in. This is why I am against sex early on. You can juggle many people until you start to have sex with one. But the moment you start to have sex and it gets serious then you need to consider whether or not you want to be monogamous. You can juggle many before you have sex. This is the advice that I have for people wanting to have a relationship.
If you wait you will know who you would like to be in a relationship with. If you have sex early on you may realise that you only fancied her physically, but she may be an idiot. By not jumping into bed at the beginning you will also determine the players and whether or not they are willing to wait.
If you are worth it they have to wait otherwise they are not worth it.
You may like her more than she likes you. I believe that you can make anyone fall in love with you. There are then 20 more reasons to treat her mean if you really want this person.
For a better analogy, the lobster you are going to catch just by dipping your feet into the sea is a bad rotten, tasteless lobster. It’s the lobster that you have to go into deep water and scuba dive to find, who is worth it. It’s the lobster that takes effort that will be the one that you will want to have or who will want to have you. After all human beings like a challenge.
