Some thought-provoking things have happened over the past few weeks. Lesbians seem to be making it further into mainstream media, using our own voices, rather than just being reported on.... A study in the Metro reported that 7.9 % of women say they are in a same sex relationship, as opposed to 1.8% 20 years ago. Another report published by UCL found women are four times more likely to have a same sex experience than 20 years ago - with 16% saying they'd had a same sex encounter when asked in 2010, as opposed to 4% who said the same previously in 1990.
Just before these statistics were announced, I was asked to contribute to an article by Rhiannon Williams in the Telegraph women's section, deliberating where all the younger lesbians are - and what issues they face when coming out.
Regardless of the reliability of the research studies, this media attention has made me reconsider the visibility and 'outness' of lesbian and bisexual women.
My perspective, echoed by the others in the Telegraph article, is that lesbians are less visible than gay men due to the fact that society at large does not see them, rather than because there are fewer lesbians or that they are all in the closet (though there are likely aspects of truth in here). I and other contributors use the idea that femme lesbians are being assumed straight, or somehow playing up to straight male fantasies. However, I do also believe that some femmes may lack the confidence to come out as they are not fully represented by identifiable role models and or seen much on the traditional scene. This is especially the case for femme couples. Naturally this is not true - there are hundreds of us out there, it is just hard to know where to find them.
Jane Czyzselska, Editor of Diva Magazine, pointed out about society and the media generally placing less emphasis on female sexuality than male. This and the survey statistics made me consider the ‘closet’ question. Are there truly more lesbians now than 20 years ago (proportionate to population size) or are there just more women stating that they are as they feel safer being out than they were 20 years ago? It seems appalling to think that as recently as the 1990s the climate was so different for lesbians. Are there more lesbians in couples as lesbian lifestyles and culture has changed, or are these women who feel safer being out in a couple than as single lesbians?
I think the survey about same sex experiences is intriguing, as these women are not necessarily identifying as lesbian or bisexual, and neither are they talking about same sex relationships, rather sexual experiences. The fact that female sexuality is reported to be more fluid than male, the diversity of the lesbian community as opposed to the gay male scene and the fact that women may be happier to live without a defined concept of their sexuality are all further possible reasons as to why lesbians are less visible. I wonder though, if this focus on fluidity and experimentation is having an impact on younger lesbians who are coming out. Rhiannon Williams' question made me think that perhaps teenage girls do not feel they need to come out, or make a big deal of it, as same sex experimentation almost seems an essential part of secondary school or college experiences now (this is according to a friend of mine who works with teenagers). In a way, this shows acceptance amongst that age group and gives girls a safe culture to experiment, but in a way it could also be doing young lesbians struggling to come out a disservice. If a fifteen year old, who thinks she is a lesbian, is surrounded by peers who think they're straight, but want to experiment just for a laugh, then this could undermine the lesbian's identity and belittle the process of coming out. Of course, coming out does not have to be an angst ridden rite of passage, but it should be taken seriously rather than dismissed. Dismissal, to me, is almost disbelief, and therefore counter to the casual acceptance of experimentation that suggests equality.
Finally, this media coverage raises the question again of how 'out' to be. And the unanimous response in the Telegraph article was, as much as you wish to be. As much as we want equality for lesbians (within our own community and wider society) and need to be visible to achieve this; we are not required to over share or make a song and dance about who we are, any more than straight people. We should feel free to be out, and stand up for our rights, but to me, true equality is just being, whatever that means to you.
You can read the Telegraph article on Lesbophobia here
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/10452313/Young-lesbians-where-are-they-all-Coming-out-in-an-era-of-lesbophobia.html
When Sally Met Sally also has an article on the UCL study
http://whensallymetsally.co.uk/news/uk/women-sex-research-lesbian-fluid-attitudes-university-london